im drinking this country out of the recession.
Moan for me like Helen Keller
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
Don't tell me you're on acid again
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
Randomize
