do herpes really smell.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
Someone stole a lamp last night.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
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