I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
Randomize
