Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
Randomize
