I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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