Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
