hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
my mom just threw water on me to get me awake and is screaming "where is my fucking car?!"
you gave me a ride last nite what the hell did you do with it after you left me?
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
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