If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
