And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
