today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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