We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
Randomize
