It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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