Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
Randomize
