Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
