So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
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