Quick, to the slutcave!
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
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