he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
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