I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Randomize
