you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
