My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
You pole danced in your parka.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
