Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
Buhtt sex?
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
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