Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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