Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
