Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
I intend to get homeless drunk
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
Randomize
