Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Randomize
