We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
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