soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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