Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
