thus making me awesome and them whores
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Randomize
