I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Randomize
