What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Randomize
