giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
