That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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