piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
Randomize
