the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
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