idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
Randomize
