I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
This gyro tastes like lonliness
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Randomize
