Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
high people should be assigned attendants
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Randomize
