If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
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