I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
You dont lie about slip and slides
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
Randomize
