I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
Randomize
