The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
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