Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Are we still banned from the library?
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
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