i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
