i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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