I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize
