Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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