I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Randomize
