Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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