even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
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