He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
