two of my INSANE ex girlfriends just texted me saying their coming over because im home alone. needless to say, im deleting my twitter.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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